Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
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cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
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you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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