Hey man sorry I got all grabby
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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