And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I had to cum in my sink.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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