u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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