I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize