he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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