Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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