I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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