One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
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It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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