Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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