Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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