Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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