AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize