I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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