Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize