hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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