if you like me you must not know who I am
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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