no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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