you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize