No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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