last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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