my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize