in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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