Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
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well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
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The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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