Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize