He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize