Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize