Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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