It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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