I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
do nipples grow back?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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