You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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