if i can run in heels then i can drive
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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