i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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