I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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