My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize