i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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