Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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