Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize