Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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