laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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