is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize