At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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