Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize