so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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