He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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