my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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