hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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