I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize