so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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