I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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